18 Sep 2006
Several poetically minded scoundrels who were in attendance for The Gathering have requested the text of the miniature broadside Cap’n Drew produced from inside his Hindoostanie locket to signify the beginning of this year’s Invasion and inquired as to its origin… (photo of broadside after the cut)
Inspired by the lunatic libels penned by a little known, poorly understood author from the colonies, here then is the text of the Cap’n’s Invasion plan document:
A Broadside by Captain Drew
Listen sharp you festering curs, I’ll make this plain and fast: this be Palooza number two, praythee it’s not your last. I’m Captain Drew, I’ll be your guide on this circu’tous route. I know you’re pirates, without rules, and laws were made to tout, but take my speech as treasured pearls, not something you would mock, for these fine words might keep you well from out the bloody stocks!
Heed this warning:
Be like sheep in the morning: slow to anger, long to graze and leave nothing in your wake.
At no time EVER let your blades their scabbards dear depart, The Queen’s own Black Torrent Guard will drop you on the spot! Dragoons! Dragoons! If yet you live they’ll put you in the Clink. And all too soon the knot of Old Jack Ketch you’ll feel around your neck.
From there it’s all down hill, with help of Mr. Newton’s Grav’ty.
One long drop,
a very short stop
and your pirate lives be through.
Now we’ve far to run ‘neath this warm sun and time she cannot wait. There are pubs to sack, a village to pillage and songs to sing of the sea. Assemble now, you know how, to your stations fly. Raise up the sails, let’s Give ‘Em Hell!!
The Palooza Has Begun!!!