23 Apr 2008
It were the night of the Dragon*Con Pirate Party (quite fantastic if you could get in) and The Captain had been called into action far sooner than intended. Still groggy from the previous day’s activities, I thought to splash a bit of me grandfather-scented Old Spice™ round about me person… you know, just to freshen up. Well, as any pirate knows, getting all sashed up and lashed up into your fightin’ kit takes a bit of effort, and somehow in that leather and linen melee I ended up walking into the lobby of the Hilton with me bottle of Old Spice™ in me hand.
Too much of a bother to turn on me heel and go back down to me autocarriage to put away the bottle of aftershave, I elected instead to make it me canteen for the evening and drunkenly offered a sip to an endless number of beasts and beauties… both as cologne and concoction, but always in jest.
Later, perhaps an hour or so before the pirate party began, I found meself in the lower lobby of the Hyatt… a Guinness in one hand, Old Spice™ in the other. A lubber appeared at me side waving a great grand camera the size of a Guinea Harvester. He petitioned me to provide him with a pose, so I held up me Guinness in the left hand and me Old Spice™ in me right hand and I pretended for to pour the latter into the former.
He snapped away, bade me his thanks and melted into the crowd.
Me? I drank me Guinness.
For the next five minutes I kept wondering why “Hotel Guinness” tasted so different…. until I realized that my right hand must’ve been a bit more tipsy than me left.
That night I truly were an Old Spice™. (Peed like one too!)
Kindly reprinted from another location with my own permission.