22 Aug 2011
Reports are coming in that Captain Drew, founder of PiratePalooza.com and beloved space pirate, has spent most of the day attempting to persuade a well known kilt-wearing celebrity/photographer to return an “invaluable” first generation prototype of a brand new device, after it was left in a bar (by Captain Drew.)
Lawyers acting on behalf of the 465 year old time-traveling space pirate claimed publicly posted photographs of the secret new device would be “staggeringly deleterious” to the launch of the new product. According to newly released screenshots, Captain Drew (also the leader of the annual PiratePalooza Pubcrawl and Pubsing), personally contacted a Mister “Photognome”, the star of thousands of photographs featuring scantily clad, (potentially) biologically accommodating wenches. Details of the discussion are not publicly posted, but it is reported that Mr. Gnome has demanded some sort of recompense for the surrender of the device.
Our efforts to contact Mr. Gnome for a personal interview were answered by accusations that we are actually Captain Drew, pretending to be a disinterested reporter. I resent this implication.
Mister Gnome has claimed that he discovered the device in a bar and that he did not steal it from Captain Drew.
Highly placed sources say that talks are underway to return the device to Captain Drew and to remove all accusations of wrongdoing from Mister Gnome.