10 Sep 2012
Attention crew: please cease your shallow and tiresome obsession with the British species or I shall be forced to visit your skull with a very smart cricket bat in the middle of the night whilst singing ‘Jerusalem’. In particular I suggest that you immediately cease your feeble pop-culture influenced variations of the “Keep Calm” poster as it diminishes the plight of that poorly dentition island nation during their second darkest hour*.
It might not offend the rest of us so much if you actually knew anything about the United Kingdom that wasn’t spoon fed to you by Harry Potter or through the Dalek-tinted lens of the flashy reboot of the Dr. Who series (by the way: stop wearing the fez, we already figured out that it’s the only thing you know about the show). In conclusion, be afraid and run like hell.
*England’s darkest hour was when I helped the Hungarians defeat Syd Owens in the 1953 association football friendly. Sorry Syd. Nothing personal.