6 Jul 2016
Billy Bones’ Best Buy on Boots!
In today’s post I’ll attempt to help a mate sell a pair of very special boots…. Whether you know it or not, it’s not easy being a pirate; in fact it’s a rather expensive endeavor – just ask our pal Chad (aka “Billy Bones”), who has recently learned a very expensive lesson about footwear. This most recent season at the Georgia Renaissance Festival Chad finally decided to invest in some quality footwear from a well known vendor, Son of Sandlar, a Savannah-based company specializing in long-lasting footwear for the renaissance festival circuit.
Boots from Son of Sandlar are quite popular on the circuit in the southeastern United States and making the investment in a pair of their boots is as much a commitment to being a part of the rennie community as it is a costume decision. Chad went with Sandlar’s High Buckle Boot (link to catalog page), which features upwards of 9 separate buckles festooned all up and down your leg, running from the top of your foot all the way up, nearly touching your Hackensack.
They’re the sort of “tie-me-up, strap-me-down” sort of boots that guarantee you’ll meet loose-corseted wenches who are apt to say things like “Let’s get frisky, Monsignor!”, which is why it’s doubly a shame that poor Chad has found himself in the unenviable position of needing to sell his brand new boots at a loss, after having only worn them on four occasions!!
As it turns out, Chad found his new boots too be a bit too tight and so each time he wore the new boots to faire he’d stop by the Son of Sandlar booth just to make sure that everything was okay, to which they’d explain that he needed to be patient and allow the leather break in. As a pirate who wears some equally outlandish boots from CA Boots I know the excruciating pain of tight, un-broken-in leather boots and that the break-in period depends on the frequency of use and could take years to happen if you’re a casual pirate.
Of course I knew nothing about Chad’s tight-booted saga until the fourth (and final) occasion he wore them – when at pub sing at the Brewer’s Pub he explained to me with an anguished scowl on his face that his big toe had turned black from rubbing up against the front of his boot – blood had been pooling under the nail of his big toe and he was in agony. I’m not afraid to tell you that I was entirely prepared to club him in the head with my mug if he made any attempt to show me the ghoulish horrors lurking at the end of his foot.
I suppose the worst part is that Chad finally returned to Son of Sandlar and pressed them to let him try the next size up, which fit him far better than the bloodthirsty toe-jacking boots he’d purchased mere weeks before. Good boots aren’t cheap and it’s easy to understand how a company needs to protect itself from poor customer decisions, but having worked nearly four years in the shoe business as a lad (prior to becoming a pirate) I have a robust understanding that the shoe seller’s responsibility is to put the right size product on a customer’s foot (our first directive was “Seat and Measure”), demonstrating the emphasis shoe stores place on their customers’ comfort, which is why I’m so surprised that Sandlar didn’t work out an equitable exchange with our bound-for-a-peg-leg pal, Chad.
However, being that we’re all pirates here I say that Chad’s bad luck can become your good fortune, because the poor bugger is ready to sell his size 11½ beauties for $350, essentially 30% off his original cost – that’s a pretty fine discount, so walk (don’t limp) to your local internet and reach out to contact Chad via his Facebook account today!
Tell him Captain Drew sent you!!
