A list of all posts from the category: GARF

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Category Listing for: GARF

GARF Offers Best Ticket Deal of the Season

Yesterday I was directing the workmen who were replacing the figurehead for the front of my ship when I noticed a tiny red flag had popped out of my rPhone so I carefully dialed the number to the orbital telemail waystation to check my inbox and discovered that the ticket drovers down at the Georgia Renaissance Festival had announced the best deal yet on tickets to the Georgia Renaissance Festival. After purchasing a bootful of tickets for myself I decided to Continue Reading

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May is International Johnny Jump Up Month

Three years ago our mate Thomas O. McJunkins (the Mad Black Bard) took St. Peter a quart of Johnny Jump Up and in honor of his impassioned spirit we encourage you to remember him each May be lifting high your mug and drinking some of that legendary stuff.

Here is T.O. singing Johnny Jump Up at the Georgia Renaissance Festival in 2011.

We shall see you again, T.O.!

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Georgia Renfest Adds Whiz Rocket Ride (Men Only)

I stumbled across these Sontoran Whiz Rockets at the Georgia Renaissance Festival this past weekend and while I did not see them in operation I did note that there were no warning signs or instructions posted. One little fellow tumbled out of a normal porta-potty and announced that “My junk ain’t tall enough to fit!”. I have yet to try these out and am interested to know if anyone else has experience piloting one of these contraptions. Question: do you need to have 4 passengers before it will go?

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Free Water! Georgia Renfaire Shines Despite Rain (Top 10 List)

I know a lot of lubbers hide in their shacks when the storm clouds push in, but this past weekend at the Georgia Renaissance Festival I observed how the show goes on whether it rains or shines and I’ll count down TEN reasons why you should toss on your galoshes and head down to New Castle.

 

  1. GREAT PARKING
    On rainy days there are fewer cars which means that you get to park a lot closer to the entrance!
  1. CHEAPER THAN A WATER PARK
    The last time I checked (which was 3 minutes ago) a discount day pass ticket to White Water was $39.99 and the water parks don’t sell turkey legges or swords.
  1. SHORTER LINES
    Whether you’re in line for boiled eggs on a stick or the Welsh Shin-Kicking Ride, you won’t have as long to wait
  1. CLEAN RENNIES
    A rare sight indeed if you were to listen to the slanderous Haymarket press that I’ve written in past about rennies. All the same, bring some Himalayan Pink Salt Bar Soap along and see what happens!
  1. WAY COOLER
    By the time May rolls around the temps really begin to climb, but a jolly good rain storm can really chill you to the bone. Bring a bikini shawl along, just in case.

Continue Reading

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Section of Royal High Road Buckles in New Castle, Swallows Minstrels Whole

A gaggle of unsuspecting minstrels were swallowed up by the earth this past Sunday when a section of the Royal High Road in New Castle buckled due to a previously undetected tunnel, reported the Royal Guard.

Captain Drew, spokespirate for the Royal Alliance of Space Pirates (R.A.S.P.), responded via telex that his organization was “totally not involved in this unfortunate tunnel collapse” and that “the tunnel had not even been finished yet” and that “peepholes had Continue Reading

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Captain Announces Special VIP Cast Party at Drunk Monk

On Saturday evening reports began filtering in to the ship that Captain Drew had been conspicuously absent from the opening day of the Georgia Renaissance Festival, as there were no reports of broken railings and zero beers spilled on Edward the Redbeard.  There were, however, scattered whisperings from around the kingdom suggesting that someone matching the Captain’s description might have been been spotted on the grounds the previous evening and there were several suspicious incidents reported, including a lingering power outage at The Peacock Tea Room (a popular dining destination) and some non-functional taproom equipment at a popular Continue Reading

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2016 Renaissance Festival Forms

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After an exciting incident with scones and a wooden chair at the Royal Peacock Tea Room, and in an effort to decrease rail and bannister-related injuries, I recently assumed the position of INSPECTOR with the Bureau of Renaissance Festival Inspections and paid a visit upon the Georgia Renaissance Festival and am pleased to announce that Continue Reading

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Renaissance at the Georgia Renaissance Festival

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As a skilled attendee of the Georgia Renaissance Festicle (GARF) I would like to share with the world at large my excitement at the genuine effort the owners have been putting into spiffing the old place up and marketing her to Atlanta – there’s been a literal “renaissance” at this year’s Renaissance Festicle. In years past GARF’s television spots featured some other bunch of renfest actors from some other faire – this year the spots have featured the actual Georgia cast – and those spots are running online as well – I see them on Facebook every day and have scored discounts to GARF from those online ads when they feature discount codes like Continue Reading

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Queen Anne’s Bad Romance

Oh for the love of ten thousand blinding suns, Queen Anne has taken up with wonton kissing wenches and traveling minstrels… surely this cannot end well for Her Majesty…

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Vote for Three Quarter Ale!

Three Quarter Ale

Now be the time for all you scurvy seadogs to rise to action and pay me heed! You see, my dear scoundrels, those minstrels what tend by the appellation “Three Quarter Ale” be in deadly, earnest combat against overwhelming odds against an army of land lubbers and they need YOUR HELP in winning the Georgia Lottery’s All Access Music Search tomorrow! So what do you need to do? Keep reading!!! Continue Reading

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