UPDATE! Good news, the Pyrates Royale cannot be stopped. Ian O’Donnell reports that the Pyrates have been reincarnated and that you can get the latest information about them on their Pyrates Royale Reunion page on Facebook (click!)
Shocking news reached the ship tonight that the Pyrates Royale have announced they would be ending the voyage they first began in 1986. Upon hearing the news Captain Drew issued the ship’s flags to be lowered to “one half thirds mast” and that extra rum rations be issued for himself until further notice. Curiosity abounds around the ship, but all agree that the Pyrates Royale were Continue Reading
Republished with persimmons from The Associated Reuters News Press-type Agency
Beleaguered by mounting media scrutiny over the events leading to the monumental traffic nightmare resulting from this past Tuesday’s 2-inch snowfall, and facing harsh criticism from political rivals he will face in upcoming primary debates, Georgia Governor Nathan Deal announced at 9am this morning a surprise noon press conference in which he planned to “reveal the real culprit in this fiasco”. Continue Reading
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – “RumbleShorts” wrote in to let us know that back in July of this year the Adelaide Times reported the discovery of a working print of the long lost Pirate Christmas special “Captain Drew is Coming to Town”, produced by Rankin Bass. According to the article, which is in Australianese, the film reel had been wedged between a vat of “shipdip” and a large drum of “shipoil”. In truth, the article was nigh on to unintelligible, so we have not linked to it directly so as not to cause our readers undue confusion. Through a series of translators we understand that the delightfully animated film has been restored by an Australian Sheep Conglomerate and that it is set to air on Christmas eve in the more remote portions of that continental island of sheepherders. According to the Australian version of Wikipedia the story follows a young space pirate Captain Drew as he learns to loot and pillage small villages throughout Eastern Europe. Music by Bung Crosby. If you have additional information please forward it to us on Twitter @piratepalooza
So pleased was I over the success of last week’s 8th Annual PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl and Pubsing that I’m skipping my traditional unplanned press conference a few months before the event and am instead giving you an entire year to plan for the invasion of Decatarrrr on the 21st of Septembarrrr, 2013. Carve that date into your wooden leg, Jim m’lad, as you won’t want to miss this jolly good time. If you did somehow miss this year’s PiratePalooza™ (the original and official) take a gawp at more than 375 pirate-filled engravings of our sack of the sea port of Decatur ‘pon the Ponce – and if you values your hide you’ll be sure to join our Facebook page and read the Captain’s (b)Log leading up to the event! Now go and mend some sails or something. And by all means, spread the word.
In what may be the pirate news story of the week, Captain Drew, famed space pirate and inventor of the rPlank™ has announced his intentions to find a “very valuable treasure map” that he claims was lost during his last laundry day.
“Yes, Brian, I am very concerned and hope to find this map very quickly as it shows where I have hidden all my treasure,” said the Captain to our reporter Brie Nicholls, who attended the Captain’s hastily called announcement in a popular doughnut shop along Ponce De Leon Street in Atlanta late Saturday morning.
“It be my intention, Brian, to determine WHERE I left my map and then to pick it UP again and put it into my breeches POCKET. My, you certainly have a large chest for a cabin boy, Brian. Do you mind if I Continue Reading
Whilst on vacation in the glades of Florida our pal Jack “Jumpstreet” Sparrow took the time to record a very nice travelogue about his itinerary. So. Do you think he’s looking a little paunchy? Yeah? Yeah. Us too, but we didn’t say anything about it at the time. You know. Umm…. yeah… video after the cut! Continue Reading
Such flattery!! Despite old Captain Drew’s bumblin’ we’ve gone and gotten ourselves a mention in this year’s Talk Like a Pirate Day Podcast over on Requiem of the Outcast, a site which is filled well beyond the waterline with wonderfully entertaining podcasts and audio series like the CinemaFreaks and Continue Reading
Me old college roommate Blackbeard be making news again this week after historians and archaeologists (what I like to call “history pirates”) have all but concluded that a wreck lyin’ off the coast of South Carolina is his famed ship, the Queen Anne’s Revenge! Continue Reading
Swing hard about, all o’ you WoW-loving, Second Life-afflicted privateering gamers: Disney has heard your psychographic growl and has announced a Spring rollout of a Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game (MMORPG) they’re calling “Pirates of the Caribbean Online”. Interested? Read on…
Lean to, you scurvy dogs and make for CBS Television’s website to download a signup form for their new television programme what be called “Pirates”. Here be a direct link to to the download form (note that this link will probably be deadeyes within a month or so o’ this postin’ so look sharp and snag it now!). Tell ’em that Cap’n Drew sent you!!