I was flipping through my mail this morning, checking out a catalog from outdoor equipment dealer backcountry.com, when my eye fell on an advertisement for a pair of sandals. The thing that caught my eye was an inset photo of the bottom of the sandal with a small pile of bottlecaps arrayed beneath it. “By frisky dingo,” I swore under my breath,”it almost looks as if they’ve built a bottle opener into the bottom of that there sandal, matey.” But wait, it only gets BETTER.
Well a lot of people (and by “people” I mean pirates (and by “pirates” I mean the old drunk beggar that sleeps under the pier beside my ship)) have been asking me “Captain Drew, what did you think o’ the new Pirates movie?” to which I’ve been replying “Please, old man, stand downwind when you address me!” and then, later, “Well, I think it be right smart, I do. I especially like the pictures of the girls from the Pub Sing and…” at which point those people(pirates(beggar)) reply “No, no, I don’t mean your sad little internot movies, I mean the new pirate movie from Disney, the one starring Johnny Depp.” Oh. That movie.