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Hardy Boys Meet Pirate Gold

Solving Mysteries

Did you grow up wishing you had a pudgy friend named Chet Morton, a motorboat named Sleuth and a girlfriend named Iola? Was your Dad a famous private detective? Did your Aunt Gertrude make the best welsh rarebit in all of Bayport? Was your favorite Christmas present a Junior Deluxe Fingerprint Kit? More to the point: did you ever solve the mystery of crazy old Mister Applegate’s missing pirate treasure? Would you like to? Head on down to your local DVD reseller and dig up a copy of this great Mickey Mouse Club serialization of the Hardy Boys, starring Tim Considine and Tommy “Old Yeller” Kirk as brothers Frank and Joe Hardy. Continue Reading

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Reef™ Brand Sandals = Secret Booze!

Built-in Church Key

I was flipping through my mail this morning, checking out a catalog from outdoor equipment dealer backcountry.com, when my eye fell on an advertisement for a pair of sandals. The thing that caught my eye was an inset photo of the bottom of the sandal with a small pile of bottlecaps arrayed beneath it. “By frisky dingo,” I swore under my breath,”it almost looks as if they’ve built a bottle opener into the bottom of that there sandal, matey.” But wait, it only gets BETTER.
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Dead Man’s Chest? Suck My Catling!

Well a lot of people (and by “people” I mean pirates (and by “pirates” I mean the old drunk beggar that sleeps under the pier beside my ship)) have been asking me “Captain Drew, what did you think o’ the new Pirates movie?” to which I’ve been replying “Please, old man, stand downwind when you address me!” and then, later, “Well, I think it be right smart, I do. I especially like the pictures of the girls from the Pub Sing and…” at which point those people(pirates(beggar)) reply “No, no, I don’t mean your sad little internot movies, I mean the new pirate movie from Disney, the one starring Johnny Depp.” Oh. That movie.
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