The Pyrates Royale To End Their Voyage?

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UPDATE! Good news, the Pyrates Royale cannot be stopped. Ian O’Donnell reports that the Pyrates have been reincarnated and that you can get the latest information about them on their Pyrates Royale Reunion page on Facebook (click!)

Shocking news reached the ship tonight that the Pyrates Royale have announced they would be ending the voyage they first began in 1986.  Upon hearing the news Captain Drew issued the ship’s flags to be lowered to “one half thirds mast” and that extra rum rations be issued for himself until further notice.  Curiosity abounds around the ship, but all agree that the Pyrates Royale were Continue Reading

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Offended Artists Justify Themselves with Petulant Redesign

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Dear humans of the United States, just when I believe that I have finally understood what drives your species you go and have a swutting juju-flop of a frandelkrap about some bloody t-shirts that simply encouraged your children to pick themselves up from your nasty, action-figure strewn carpeted floors, launch themselves past your Continue Reading

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Captain Drew’s New Year’s Wish

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I really like you people (even the ones who aren’t pirates) and I hope that as we write our final lines into the chapter of the year that you are okay. Perhaps not deliriously happy and joyous, but at the very least okay at the foundation of your being.

I hope that you are healthy, though I know for a fact that more than a few of you are dealing with medical issues or taking care of loved ones who are not well. Very few of us stop to consider how fortunate we are in times of good health, and I am certainly not always the most thoughtful to ask how you are when I run into you, half-drunk clutching a turkey legge in one gauntlet and a purloined Continue Reading

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All’s Faire is Splendid Listening

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This summer Lady Prudence announced her intention to launch a new album and it came as no surprise that her Kickstarter goal was essentially doubled.  I found a few spare groats under the cage of Sir Rocko, my ground parrot, and promptly dropped them in the post to the Lady’s attention, care of somewhere on dry land. Several months later I received a package containing a signed copy of her new album All’s Faire, a very pleasant handwritten note, and a rather torrid love letter Continue Reading

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Social Media Form SM-4 (Rev. 09-2015)

 

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That time is upon us again this year and I hope that you haven’t let it slip up on you like is has me!! Don’t forget to file form SM-4 before mid-October, especially if you value the autonomy of your own private social media control.  Note that page 19 is the most important page and for the first time this year you may simply Continue Reading

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Remembering PiratePalooza™ 2015

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This year we celebrated the 11th anniversary of PiratePalooza™ on the unfamiliar shores of downtown Atlantarrrr. This is my account of that adventure. – Captain Drew

Around 1:30 our pirates began slipping into Meehan’s Irish Pub in twos and threes, making their way down the shadowy back hallway toward the Shanghai Room where, through the use of diverse hand signals, grunts, whistles and clicks, they began to assemble into a unified group and take over the Continue Reading

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10 Ways to Have a Fun and Safe PiratePalooza!

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PiratePalooza™ may seem like a novelty to you city folks in Atlantarrrr, but this grand convening of pirate crews ain’t no joke and it’s a good thing that you tuned in to get these tips from me on how best to survive… Continue Reading

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Pogue Mahone at PiratePalooza!

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This year marks the 10th anniversary of Tommy and Foe’s friendship, but people who know them would swear the two have been friends for several lifetimes. They met briefly at DragonCon through their mutual friend, Wade Finch, but got to know each other much better by spending a few hours discussing costumes at Foe’s first PiratePalooza (Year 2, in 2006). Though they wouldn’t start singing together for another year or so, their friendship really began that night outside Continue Reading

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Nightmare’s Gate 2015

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This past weekend I decided that I needed to relax in anticipation of the upcoming 11th Annual PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl & Pubsing, so I called around to my friends hoping one of them was foolish enough to answer their phone and reveal their location to me.  In retrospect I rather wish that I stayed on the ship and watched an Alf marathon because I’d have saved myself a rather extensive laundry bill and avoided a shocking case of full-body poison ivy caught from hiding naked in the woods overnight.

At least I can provide a public service to my friends and crew by telling you to STAY AWAY FROM DOUGLASVILLE!!!

Seriously, those people are not messing around out there.  If you are for some reason unable or unwilling to consider this general advice (freely given), you should consider my next nugget of more specific advice regarding Douglasville, namely:  do NOT go near the haunted hall of terror named Nightmare’s Gate!!!!!!! {www.nightmaresgate.com}

Allow me to explain why I say this… Continue Reading

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Curvy, Scurvy, and Purvy at PiratePalooza!

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The first two attempts to interview this singing group did not go as planned, and the third interview was an absolute disaster. The fourth interview was cancelled due to a lack of rum, and the fifth interview resulted in a fire that threatened to engulf half of Brest. The sixth interview attempt should never be mentioned in polite company. Finally, we decided to simply steal an interview with the group that was published by Rolling Schooner magazine in 1733.

When did you get together as a group? How did it happen?

Captain Scurvy Pete misplaced his old crew and was looking for a new crew. He met Curvy and agreed to hire him as his new cabin boy. (He still doesn’t understand his strange attraction to his Continue Reading

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