What is this PiratePalooza™ website all about?
PiratePalooza.com™ represents the online chronicles of Captain Drew.

Okay, who’s this Captain Drew guy?
Captain Drew is a space pirate with a penchant for cleavage, adventure, music and rum. Dashingly handsome, Captain Drew is known around the cosmos as the creator of the rPhone, the director of an award-proof series of video adventures and the founder of the annual PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl in Decatarrrr. He is also be the copywriter for this particular column and often confuses the phrase “dashingly handsome” for “an annoyingly pushy guy” and would heretofore request that you phrase your questions in the style of a pirate.

Garrrrr, what be this PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl?
Much better. Scheduled on the weekend nearest to Talk Like A Pirate Day, the PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl is the ultimate inland meeting of pirates, buccaneers, rascals, rogues, scoundrels, ruffians and scalawags this side of the bounding main. It’s an invasion, a sack, a pub crawl and a great way to meet other enthusiasts of the piratical arts ending in a fantastic pub sing starring some of the most popular renfest bands of our time! Join Captain Drew and his crew as they wend their way through the ale houses of downtown Decatarrr on their way to the big Palooza at the end of the night. Between our annual pubcrawls you can keep up with Captain Drew’s blog and his wild video adventures. It’s all free so bookmark the site and stop by when you’re incredibly bored!

Oh, this pubcrawl sounds delightful! Buffy and I and our cocktail group can’t wait to attend!
Piss off mate. This party isn’t for you. It isn’t for yuppies, guppies or three-dollar soccer Moms. This event is held dear by pirates what have dirt under their nails (dirt covering blood covering grime covering you-don’t-want-to-know). These are hard people. Fierce people. Terrible people. You’d best turn tail back to your fancy houses and watch another episode of Gray’s Anatomy, you nancies.

What is this “big palooza” you speak of? Is it a concert?
Well, yeah! Be prepared for rollicking sea chanties, soaring ballads and bawdy pub songs delivered by the most skilled musicians in all the land. This is a concert, so if you want to jabber, take it inside the pub or down to the nearest coffee house where bookworms trade in wittithingies… we be here to crawl the pubs and sing about drinking! Bring enough money to tip our talented minstrels and be sure to ask about their latest albums which will be available for sale that night!

How much does it cost?
The PiratePalooza™? It’s bloody free mate, no tickets. This isn’t Buckhead and Captain Drew cannot be bought… mostly because he’s worthless. The food, the drinks, the swords? Those are all on your nickel. Read below.

How much should I expect to spend on food, drinks, swords, etcetera?
How much do you expect to drink on a big party night on the town? That much. How many swords do you buy on a pillaging night on the town? Not nearly as much as you’d think you’d have to pay for real swords! How many wenches to you expect to explore? Prices vary for those. In general, the prices in Decatarrr are on par with those of most of your nice-but-not-extravagent neighborhoods around Atlanta. Think: $10-$25 dinners, $4-5 domestic beers upward to $12+ high-gravity beers. If you’re a laid-back pillager you might make it through the night for under $35 or $40. But please, please, please bring a few dollars extra to drop in the baskets of the musicians when they play because they really are playing for free.

Do I have to dress like a pirate?
Yes. You’d look pretty bloody silly if you weren’t dressed like a pirate would’t you mate? Take a little pride in your appearance you scurvy deck monkeys! At the very least wear one of your PiratePalooza T-shirts from a previous year, or buy one from this year so you’ll fit in. Pirates are right bastards when it comes to peer pressure.

But I’m a girl, can I dress like a wench instead?
Well aren’t you a pretty angel…… now skinny out of those togs and show us something that’ll make us scrub our decks! That’s a double-entendre for you slowboats out there. Oh, and it also means “Yes you may dress like a wench lass!”

Can I bring a sword? Can I do a swordfight with my friends?
No. No. No. Do yourself a favor and peace-tie your swords and be careful about your flintlocks. This is PiratePalooza™ Law. If you see someone with exposed steel please help that person to find someone with wireties to secure their weapon. Openly brandished steel is a sure trip to the lock-up if the local constabulary gets involved and we’re not going to feel a whit of pity for any pirates dim enough to challenge the local militia. Please, don’t be what the Belgians call “an asshat”. Just don’t.

I think I drank too much (hic!)…. but I can drive myself home! (hic!)
Of course you can love, and you can probably saunter into London Tower for a chat with Sir Issac about minting gold as well. You can probably make it to that “special” level on your Colecovision where you can see Smurfette without her clothes. You can probably do a thousand fantastic things but I’ll drive a capstan up your sallyport if you try to drive home whilst intoxicated. Please, please, please, watch your friends as you leave. Take their keys. Drive them home. This is a true “meet-up” event, a safe Palooza is up to YOU!

[tags]piratepalooza, faq, pubcrawl, facts, questions, answers[/tags]