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The Little Brown What Would Not Flush

As a right amount of furious clamor from prior postings have determined: most of you Earth lubbers seem well abashed of the art of Captain Drew’s pirate planet, namely Poop Poetry. As such, I shall be hiding the bulk of my latest treasure beneath the cut. So, if you be not sure that you’ve an ear for the high art of the space pirates, take in just a sample of this latest masterpiece. If you love it, click on through for the rest. Me? I be flush with success.

The Little Brown What Would Not Flush
a pram by Captain Drew

I have a poop which will not flush
no matter what I do

It peers at me from ‘neath the ledge
whatever shall I do?

I flush
it goes

I turn around
it pops back in again

Three times around
it flushed
it crowned
I don’t know what to do
it won’t go down
this cheeky brown
I’m coming quite unglued

perhaps this thing
this little turd
is not just mocking me

what if
it’s scared
and lonely now
of going off alone

I would be too
like my lil’ poo
a lingerer ‘pon the door
to that dark world
of flush and swirl
of gurgles’ skirled
of whash and glarf and sklow!

to break
my fast
I must rush now
an errand I must fill

to make
that turd
a friend (a pal!)
of matching poopy gird

to go
to town
through sewers down
it shall not be

my task
is simple now
what shall I eat at tea?


2 Responses to this post.

  1. Disbandedtoaster's Gravatar

    Posted by Disbandedtoaster on 14.06.08 at 11:22 am

    There’s one more thing you need to add to make your poopy poem perfect.

    “When did I eat corn?”

  2. drew's Gravatar

    Posted by drew on 14.06.08 at 11:22 am

    Ah, how’ve you been reading me new stuff??!!
    It hasn’t even come out yet!!