This evening The Association of Space Pirates of the Greater Magellanic Cloud and Associated Regions (“The Space Pirates”) released a statement to condemning allegations by Earth Senator Ted Cruz for “slandering our business practices” and “suggesting that we eat liver, blecch!!”.
The current King of the Space Pirates, Captain Drew, agreed to meet with one of our reporters on the condition that we buy him a plate full of hotdogs at the historic fast food restaurant The Varsity – a decision we would soon regret…
First of all, if you have half a brain you would know that you should never, ever, plan to get into a fight at your local Renaissance Festival. It’s just a bad idea all the way around, Charlie.
Besides all of the obvious reasons for a person to avoid getting into a fight at any Renaissance Festival (broken teeth, forfeiture of Renfest Patron license, court costs), there are other less obvious reasons.
We celebrated the 14th anniversary of PiratePalooza™ on Septembarrrr the 22nd of 2018. This be my account of that adventure, accompanied by photos by Karen Grayson. All of Karen’s photos are available in an album here. – Captain Drew
The pirates who made it ashore first were greeted by the unexpected sight of a new façade on Mr. Twain’s house of ale and billiards. So fresh was this new façade in fact that it was still under construction! We were all forced to slip into that old boozing ken by the side door.
To our surprise the big wall of windows facing toward downtown Decatarrrr was blocked by a wall of wooden planks, which made the place as dark as Continue Reading
Posted in: Captain's Log. Comments Off on Review: English Caramel from Peacock Tea Room
This afternoon I was startled awake by GARF’s village postman, who chucked a package through an open window in my cabin. The package was addressed to me and appeared to be from the man what cooks tea atop the small mountain in that fictitious realm. Being that the role of “village postman” is also fictitious I was overcome by a sense of wariness, so I eyed the envelope for nigh about an hour before deciding to open it. What I found inside will SHOCK YOU Continue Reading
Tonight one of the most serious scandals in modern pirate haiku competition was witnessed on the beach at Tybee Island when a pirate identifying himself only as “Wade of the Jennies” challenged one of his smartest and good-looking viewers live-on-the-air to produce a proper haiku for which he would be rewarded with a special Continue Reading
Me mate Billy Bones should be arriving at Tybee Island any moment now, ready to host his 2nd Annual Grog-Off, a judged competition between grog aficionados to see who has made the tastiest concoction. As any sailor knows, the recipe for grog has changed down through the ages and from Continue Reading
We celebrated the 13th anniversary of PiratePalooza™ once more in the inland port of Decatarrrr. This be an account of that adventure. – Captain Drew
For the first time in years I arrived on schedule to Mister Twain’s House of Ale. As I looked around the place all I seen was landsmen – not a sailor in sight. For a heartbeat I thought I’d gotten my schedule mixed up (again) and was about to leg it down to Henrietta’s Butt Hutt to figure out what day it was – that’s when I seen Porthos sitting up near the front.
Getting to a party first is just an awful business for me because I have to go around and introduce people I don’t even know in the first place so I usually just mumble something like “Mister Flibbinflam meet Mister Hasselflap”. If I do it right both pirates be so confounded that I have time to sneak away to Continue Reading
PiratePalooza #13 begins tomorrow and there’s just a bit more you need to know about our final secret final stop, where the world famous PiratePalooza Pubsing begins (immediately on the heels of the world famous PiratePalooza Pubcrawl) – please be sure to share this information with your mates. The location is called “Communion” and you’ll find it on Church Street, in the backyard of REVIVAL, a restaurant operated by celebrity Atlanta television chef Kevin Gillespie. To get to Communion you’ll need to Continue Reading
The hidden ale-yard known as Communion has become a favorite ending spot for our crew over the past several years. Better yet, it has allowed us to keep the One True PiratePalooza as a walking crawl from start to finish. Since this time last year the owners decided to convert Communion to an event space, so this time around I have been forced to dip into my chest to cover costs associated with Continue Reading
Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, m’hearties! With less than 5 days until the 13th Annual PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl & Pubsing it might be a good idea start polishing up on your pirate history! However, if you’re like most sea devils these days you’re absolutely illiterate (which is why you have someone reading this article to you right now). Continue Reading
