23 Feb 2020
Georgia Man Major Carrier of RUMinyavirus
Today authorities with PiratePalooza announced that a character identifying as “Captain Rumpot” had been positively identified as a carrier of the RUMinyavirus, known more simply to pirate scientists as RUMMY-69.
This version of the RUMinyavirus may lay dormant and asymptomatic for decades, making it impossible to predict carriers until large groups have been infected. Once the virus enters the active stage it moves swiftly to shut down higher brain functions in its victims. Signs of active viral infestation include impaired speech, peculiar clothing choices, a penchant for Renaissance festivals, and inadvisable political choices.
The best way to prevent the RUMinyavirus is to avoid contact with humans, in particular: Captain Rumpot.
If you believe that YOU may have been exposed to the RUMinyavirus move your ship a league from shore, drop anchor, and wait to see if you die.
