14 Sep 2017
The 10 Best Ways to Make People Like You
Like many of you, I feel that my friends would be more interesting if they liked the exact same things that I like. Toward that end I have prepared ten easy techniques you can use to convince them to like your stuff, collected from the many stories I have heard from my crew and from my own voluminous record of encounters with the constables. I take great reward in sharing these tips with you, as they will ultimately make you more like me in the long run. For this example I will use a movie as the thing I want my friends to like, but it could be anything from a book to a comedy album.
10: Save Them Time!
Take a DVD of your movie to where your friends are! Stop by their home later in the evening when they’re certain to be in for the night. Visit their parents’ home and explain why this movie is so incredibly funny/powerful/groundbreaking to anyone who will listen. Don’t drop any spoilers, but do give some knowing glances and big winks. Elbow jabs and sidelong grins are optional. Speaking of dropping, go ahead and drop by your friends’ place of business (or worship, as necessary) to provide them with a much-needed break from their normal routine as you urge them to consider seeing your movie.
9: Explain, Explain, Explain
Explain the comedic and cultural significance of your movie in the context of the period it was made. If possible, provide a long analysis describing how this film fits into the modern conversation about whatever the thing is about, juxtaposed with whatever topic it is that you usually grind on about endlessly when you’re drunk in a bar. Most people enjoy lengthy explanations, especially wenches, so don’t be afraid to go into excruciating detail – the looks of astonishment on their faces should be ample reward.
8: You Shouldn’t Be Shy
You should use the word “should” a lot when explaining why your friends should see your movie. Phrases you should attempt to use include: “You should watch my movie because I love it!” and “This should be your favorite movie, you should really see it as soon as possible because I think it is just fantastic!” and “Let me tell you something, you should listen to me: see my favorite movie!”
7: Remind Your Friends
Remind your friends about your movie frequently, but mix things up. Send them a tweet about it one day, then email them about it the next day. Don’t be afraid to get a little crazy and write an actual letter to your friends because people love to get mail! Try cutting out pictures from a magazine and gluing them to your letter just to liven things up! Use different color markers. Glitter! Whatever! Just be sure to repeat the name of your recipient frequently in the letter as it will personalize your argument and make them feel very, very special. In fact, send them a lot of letters! More is better in these cases.
6: Frighten Your Friends Into Seeing Things Your Way
Emphasizing the dangers of not seeing this movie are equally important! Explain how remaining ignorant about it might actually put your friends’ family members at risk. Lean in close, smile menacingly, and pat them on the back while you do this. They will be watching your movie in no time flat! Advertisers do this all the time! It’s called “selling fear” and it might just ensure that your friend sees that movie that you love so much.
5: Do Unto Others Then Hold It Against Them
To make things fair pretend to love the things that your friends love, whether it’s whip stitching or cage match wrestling. Don’t be picky because you will want to be able to lord this inequity over them later if they resist seeing your movie or if they hate it once they’ve seen it. It’s best that you make a list of all the things that you have “done for them” so that you can remind your friends of this later, in great detail, because everybody loves a scorekeeper!
4: Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
Frequent repetition reinforces an idea, so mention your movie as often as possible in a variety of circumstances. Puns can be especially useful for this, and everybody loves a good pun, so figure out what the best puns are for your movie and practice sneaking them into everyday conversations. Do you remember why frequent repetition reinforces an idea? Because frequent repetition reinforces an idea. Natch!
3: Everybody Hurts
Guilt is a great way to make someone pay attention to you. Practice looking wounded when your friends admit that they have not had time to see your movie. Tell them “it’s alright” and “not to worry about it” and that you don’t want to “bother them”. The more they know that you are hurting they more they will hurt, and this is your goal – the only way to relieve this common pain is to watch the movie, together! Yay!!
2: Dress Alike
People that dress alike think alike, so have shirts printed up with your names on the back! Determine what shirt size your friend wears by going through their closet while they are not around. Bonus points if you go back and mix their brand new “twin” shirt in with their existing wardrobe so they find it on their own, later. Letting them discover your dedication to your friendship will be something they will never forget!
1: Give It Away Now
If all else fails, give them your copy of your movie and buy yourself a brand new one! Everybody wins!
There are probably a lot more great ideas like these out there, designed to bend people to your will and make them like the things that you like, but I am sleepy now and tired of writing so go and do some googling of your own!
