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FAIRBURN, GA — The Georgia Renaissance Festival is soaring to new heights as it celebrates its 40^th anniversary with the introduction of a bold new transportation system to allow visitors to “Get. Around. (the) Rennaissance. Faire. (in) Buckets” or “GARF Buckets”, for short.

GARF Buckets, are a whimsical aerial gondola network designed to carry visitors high above the bustling lanes of the fairegrounds.

Conceived by the forward-thinking design firm Rennietectonica, the system aims to ease congestion on the winding pathways below by offering guests a scenic (albeit rather expensive) alternative: $35 per trip. The high cost, insiders say, reflects the unique journey each gondola has made before arriving in Georgia.

“These sky lifts were designed in Switzerland, manufactured in Japan, painted in Greenland, then shipped to Canada ‘just for the heck of it,’” explains a festival source who does not wish to be named. “Naturally, that adds a bit to the final cost.”

The gondolas will allow guests to “fly” from the festival entrance directly to key zones, skipping the mud, the crowds, and, frankly, anything or anyone that doesn’t pique their interest.

“Say you don’t care for pirates or food on sticks,” our source explains. “No problem. Glide right over those distractions and go straight to the tearoom. GARF Buckets are all about a sophisticated, curated adventure that you won’t find at any other renaissance faire.”

However, eager travelers may be required to sign a waiver.

Due to “unforeseen circumstances,” sources say that the GARF Buckets might not be inspected until the last day of faire.

Still, a high level of optimism and a certain “let’s do this anyway” attitude seems to permeate festival-goers and merchants. Chef Randy, owner of the beloved Peacock Tea Room, sees the new transport system as a boon, especially for his own business.

“Honestly, I think it’s fantastic,” he said while sorting through a small mountain of teacups. “We’re tucked near the back of the festival, and sometimes folks don’t make it this far. With the GARF Buckets, they can float right in without touching the ground – we’re actually the main turnaround station at the top of the hill so I will be making a special off-menu dessert to celebrate, just wink and ask your wait staff for a ‘GARF Bucket’ and we’ll do the rest.”

The GARF Bucket cable system isn’t without its share of skepticism online, with one Facebook group user insisting that this is just another roller coaster fiasco or failed wave pool waiting to happen, excitement remains palpable.

Renaissance purists might scoff, but the fusion of ye olde charm with modern ski lift technology may be just the thing to keep the Georgia Renaissance Festival flying high in 2025!