Rum. Cleavage. Pubcrawls. YARRRR!
15Apr2019
Shortly after Noon on Saturday, April 14th, Captain Drew casually announced to a group of sea pirates gathered at the Tavern Upon the Hill in Newcastle that he had just decided to “run for King”. This was received with much more enthusiasm than his last plan to dig for treasure in a privy. The Captain… Continue reading King Drew Fever Grips Newcastle
20Apr2017
A gaggle of unsuspecting minstrels were swallowed up by the earth this past Sunday when a section of the Royal High Road in New Castle buckled due to a previously undetected tunnel, reported the Royal Guard. Captain Drew, spokespirate for the Royal Alliance of Space Pirates (R.A.S.P.), responded via telex that his organization was “totally… Continue reading Section of Royal High Road Buckles in New Castle, Swallows Minstrels Whole
31Jan2016
UPDATE! Good news, the Pyrates Royale cannot be stopped. Ian O’Donnell reports that the Pyrates have been reincarnated and that you can get the latest information about them on their Pyrates Royale Reunion page on Facebook (click!) Shocking news reached the ship tonight that the Pyrates Royale have announced they would be ending the voyage they first… Continue reading The Pyrates Royale To End Their Voyage?
29Sep2015
That time is upon us again this year and I hope that you haven’t let it slip up on you like is has me!! Don’t forget to file form SM-4 before mid-October, especially if you value the autonomy of your own private social media control. Note that page 19 is the most important page… Continue reading Social Media Form SM-4 (Rev. 09-2015)
13Aug2015
This evening I met several of my pirate kin to observe the official public opening of a new Avondale experience called “My Parents Basement”, which has been constructed upon the remains of the dear departed James Joyce Pub – a wonderful establishment that I understand to have been eaten by a giant star goat, or… Continue reading My Parents Basement is Full of Nerds
07Sep2012
The colorful broadside “USA Today” be reporting that your beloved hero Neil Armstrong will be buried at sea, which seems to have caught many of you Terrans by surprise as it seems you had believed the man would be enshrined in a concrete cathedral in the middle of your national capital. But look at it… Continue reading The Final Splashdown
23Jul2009
Update [Dec 2011] – Captain Drew claims no memory of the following and ordered his Gooble Voice number be removed from the website BREAKING NEWS – Today Captain Drew announced in a press conference at PiratePalooza’s corporate headquarters that he will be teaming with the internet giant Google in a effort to increase awareness of… Continue reading Captain Drew Endorses Gooble Voice
27Jun2008
Breaking news from the world of space piracy!! Fast on the heels of their recent invasion of Mars, your planet’s space warfare organization, NASA, has assembled an army of Earth-born invaders to overrun your neighboring moon with spies! Rumored to already have ONE MILLION recruits, the so-called “space agency” has issued the following statement.
25May2008
Hostilities between Earth and Mars continues unabated with this evening’s news of yet another alien lander being deposited on the surface of the peaceful world of Mars. The latest invasion is reportedly being led by a reconnaissance robot known as the “Phoenix Mars Lander”, rumored to have advanced “measuring” and “scooping” technologies dedicated to the… Continue reading Unprovoked Invasion of Mars Continues
02May2007
So your old pal Cap’n Drew was sittin’ in a dockside tavern last night when he ran across this fine, fair wreck of a wench who seemed to warm to me sweet talk, free rum and roaming hands. I think her name was Alaksi… maybe she were Japanese. Anyways, I thought it were all going… Continue reading 09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0?
13Feb2007
Vanity Fair Magazine, whose cleavage-enriched advertisements comfort Captain Drew when he’s especially lonely, is featuring a six page article by Steven Daly about the two young cabin boys what control a little place on the internet called Pirate Bay; a centralized location for the trafficking of movies and television programs. Though I don’t be too… Continue reading Swedish Navy Stalks The Pirate Bay
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