20 Sep 2008
Hello new person with a real (or nearly real) sword. Here’s a little game that we developed for your idiot-enriched world. It’s called “peace binding” or “peace bonding” or “peace bounding” or “tying your fracking sword to your fracking belt so that you won’t do something fracking Darwinian and spoil our fricking-fracking fun”.
This is the safety policy of PiratePalooza, modeled after the rules of Anime Los Angeles. By attending this event you are bound to this agreement.
PiratePalooza believes that most humans are idiots and have survived up to this point in their lives by some insane miracle of chemistry, upbringing, charm and/or luck, and that you could snap at any moment…. which is why Public Safety outweighs any other consideration and it is with this in mind that these policies have been formed.
All real and replica (ie, realistic in appearance) edged weapons including swords and knives must be peace-bound during PiratePalooza. This means that these items will be secured to your belt or to your clothing using locking plastic strips often referred to as “wire ties”. Afterward, in the privacy of your own cabin, you may remove these wire ties using a pair of scissors or snipping pliers.
No real or replica weapons may be drawn from a scabbard or sheath at any point during PiratePalooza unless part of an approved performance. No real or realistic weapons may be brandished or wielded in a public area. Keep your sword on your hip. Keep your flintlock in its bucket or tucked into your belt.
We ask you to exercise good judgement.
If your weapon is not peace-bound, we will gladly perform the service for you at no cost. Failure to submit to peace-tying is grounds for immediate expulsion from the bar and possible summons of local police. Don’t think that we won’t wave to you like cold-hearted pirates as officers of the law escort you to your rendezvous with fate.
Dealers who sell weapons must secure each item at the point of sale and provide each customer with a printed copy of these rules.