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Pirate Sex in the City

PiratePalooza is very proud to announce the pilot episode in a brand new series of adventures of Captain Drew and his crew. Cunningly entitled “PiratePalooza : The Adventure Series”, the first episode, entitled “Pirate Sex in the City”, explores the complexities pirates face when dating in the Internet Age. Produced by and starring Captain Drew, directed by Stu Dodge (creator of “Cheerleader Autopsy”), and introducing Amy Blanco.

This pilot episode is especially significant as it marks the cinematic debut of Captain Drew’s rPhone, the most revolutionary communications device of the 21st century. While you wait for the rPhone to become commercially available why not download and install the “Space Cowboy” ringtone (Captain Drew’s favorite) on your own sad excuse of a cellphone? All the cool space pirates are doing it! Arranged by Australian synthesizer whiz, Anthony Sonego, based on The Steve Miller Band’s song “Space Cowboy” from their 1969 album “Brave New World“, this ringtone will let you pretend to be Captain Drew with your own friends!

A lot of pirates have asked “Who is this Captain Drew guy, and why is he breaking into my car?” which prompted Drew, in a roundabout way, involving a court order, to sit down and write his memoirs. Unfortunately, Drew is not a friend to Mr. First Person Narrative and so he suggested that his tale would best be left to posterity through the medium of motion pictures, mostly because he wanted to do “twenty five hundred” nude scenes with the mom from Gilmore Girls, but also because he “always wanted to impress my childhood hero, George Lupus.”

No, we don’t know who that is either.

Filmed at the Boswell Gallery in Decatur, Georgia, Captain Drew explained that Episode 1 of “PiratePalooza: The Adventure Series” was meant to “underscore my skill with the ladies” and “show off my chest hair”.

Newcomer to the world of Captain Drew’s PiratePalooza, actress Amy Blanco was initially shy around the Captain, saying “Well, he’s just so overpowering when you first meet him…. I mean, what is that smell? It’s like he poured an entire bottle of cologne over his head!”

Production Designer and Owner of the Boswell Gallery (key location for Episode 1), Elliott Boswell, explained that “I agreed to allow the Captain to shoot in my gallery on the condition that he would stop telling my customers that he’d made ‘modern art’ in the gallery’s restroom. I’m just trying to run a business here.”

Though he wouldn’t confirm it, many believe that Director Stu Dodge agreed to come out of retirement for Episode 1 as a warm-up to shooting a sequel to his underground classic “Cheerleader Autopsy”. His professional work ethic and attention to detail were an annoyance to the Captain, whose attempts to “get to know his co-star better” were constantly interrupted by “singles” and “overs” and “markers” and “resets”. Observers attribute the Captain’s constant and derisive reference to Dodge as “Charlie” as the prime cause of a scuffle between the two which occurred near the end of one take. The two men now communicate through their “people”.

Look for Episodes 2 (‘Who Shot First?’) and 3 (‘Cardboard Troopers’) to debut soon.


3 Responses to this post.

  1. GreenEgg Page » Blog Archive » Moire PiratePalooza's Gravatar

    Posted by GreenEgg Page » Blog Archive » Moire PiratePalooza on 19.05.07 at 1:00 pm

    […] The first is “Pirate Sex in the City:” [] […]

  2. Denise Bailie's Gravatar

    Posted by Denise Bailie on 19.05.07 at 1:00 pm

    Space Pirate it is, very funny and disturbingly possible. Looking forward to the next in the series.

  3. Rachel Hayes's Gravatar

    Posted by Rachel Hayes on 19.05.07 at 1:00 pm

    This is awesome. 🙂 Will be spreading the word about this new captain. Perhaps he can make an appearance with his crew at the next SeaDog.