A list of all posts from the category: Captain’s Log

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GARF Offers Best Ticket Deal of the Season

Yesterday I was directing the workmen who were replacing the figurehead for the front of my ship when I noticed a tiny red flag had popped out of my rPhone so I carefully dialed the number to the orbital telemail waystation to check my inbox and discovered that the ticket drovers down at the Georgia Renaissance Festival had announced the best deal yet on tickets to the Georgia Renaissance Festival. After purchasing a bootful of tickets for myself I decided to Continue Reading

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Georgia Renfest Adds Whiz Rocket Ride (Men Only)

I stumbled across these Sontoran Whiz Rockets at the Georgia Renaissance Festival this past weekend and while I did not see them in operation I did note that there were no warning signs or instructions posted. One little fellow tumbled out of a normal porta-potty and announced that “My junk ain’t tall enough to fit!”. I have yet to try these out and am interested to know if anyone else has experience piloting one of these contraptions. Question: do you need to have 4 passengers before it will go?

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Free Water! Georgia Renfaire Shines Despite Rain (Top 10 List)

I know a lot of lubbers hide in their shacks when the storm clouds push in, but this past weekend at the Georgia Renaissance Festival I observed how the show goes on whether it rains or shines and I’ll count down TEN reasons why you should toss on your galoshes and head down to New Castle.

 

  1. GREAT PARKING
    On rainy days there are fewer cars which means that you get to park a lot closer to the entrance!
  1. CHEAPER THAN A WATER PARK
    The last time I checked (which was 3 minutes ago) a discount day pass ticket to White Water was $39.99 and the water parks don’t sell turkey legges or swords.
  1. SHORTER LINES
    Whether you’re in line for boiled eggs on a stick or the Welsh Shin-Kicking Ride, you won’t have as long to wait
  1. CLEAN RENNIES
    A rare sight indeed if you were to listen to the slanderous Haymarket press that I’ve written in past about rennies. All the same, bring some Himalayan Pink Salt Bar Soap along and see what happens!
  1. WAY COOLER
    By the time May rolls around the temps really begin to climb, but a jolly good rain storm can really chill you to the bone. Bring a bikini shawl along, just in case.

Continue Reading

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Parking Options for PiratePalooza

Parking options for the City of Decatur, from lots to decks.

People often say to me, they say, “Captain, could you please climb down off of my table whilst I am eating my dinner,” which is a perfectly reasonable request. Other times they simply ask me for the best parking options when attending my world famous PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl & Pubsing. Continue Reading

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The 2016 PiratePalooza Press Packet

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At Captain Drew’s behest the crew have prepared a special press packet for the 2016 edition of the award winning PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl & Pubsing, the most popular pirate-themed pubcrawl in the world! Available as a small PDF download from this link: 2016-pubcrawl-press-packet – Share and enjoy!

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2016 Renaissance Festival Forms

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After an exciting incident with scones and a wooden chair at the Royal Peacock Tea Room, and in an effort to decrease rail and bannister-related injuries, I recently assumed the position of INSPECTOR with the Bureau of Renaissance Festival Inspections and paid a visit upon the Georgia Renaissance Festival and am pleased to announce that Continue Reading

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Offended Artists Justify Themselves with Petulant Redesign

tshirt-outrage

Dear humans of the United States, just when I believe that I have finally understood what drives your species you go and have a swutting juju-flop of a frandelkrap about some bloody t-shirts that simply encouraged your children to pick themselves up from your nasty, action-figure strewn carpeted floors, launch themselves past your Continue Reading

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Captain Drew’s New Year’s Wish

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I really like you people (even the ones who aren’t pirates) and I hope that as we write our final lines into the chapter of the year that you are okay. Perhaps not deliriously happy and joyous, but at the very least okay at the foundation of your being.

I hope that you are healthy, though I know for a fact that more than a few of you are dealing with medical issues or taking care of loved ones who are not well. Very few of us stop to consider how fortunate we are in times of good health, and I am certainly not always the most thoughtful to ask how you are when I run into you, half-drunk clutching a turkey legge in one gauntlet and a purloined Continue Reading

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Social Media Form SM-4 (Rev. 09-2015)

 

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That time is upon us again this year and I hope that you haven’t let it slip up on you like is has me!! Don’t forget to file form SM-4 before mid-October, especially if you value the autonomy of your own private social media control.  Note that page 19 is the most important page and for the first time this year you may simply Continue Reading

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Remembering PiratePalooza™ 2015

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This year we celebrated the 11th anniversary of PiratePalooza™ on the unfamiliar shores of downtown Atlantarrrr. This is my account of that adventure. – Captain Drew

Around 1:30 our pirates began slipping into Meehan’s Irish Pub in twos and threes, making their way down the shadowy back hallway toward the Shanghai Room where, through the use of diverse hand signals, grunts, whistles and clicks, they began to assemble into a unified group and take over the Continue Reading

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