
Late Sunday afternoon news of an incredible discovery at the Georgia Renaissance Festival began circulating in the general vicinity of a bush located across the street from the popular springtime event. Passersby report that a man disguised as a “big brown burglar” was shouting the “combination” to an alleged secret entrance to an air-conditioned underground brewpub located directly beneath the ground floor of the new two-story Drunk Monk pub
According to this “masked man wielding a table leg” the secret underground facility can be accessed by gently touching decorative barrel heads in a special sequence and clearly stating the phrase “Captain Drew Loves Boobs” (artist’s rendering of rumored sequence, below).

If this as-yet-unidentified individual lying beneath a bush, distributing codes is to be believed, the panel holding the beer barrels is designed to swing up to reveal a stone staircase leading down to the secret underground brewpub, which also features an arcade, a gift shop, 3 restaurants, and a retractible dance floor with an Olympic-size swimming pool underneath.
Officials at GARF have yet to respond to these allegations, mostly because no one has had the nerve to pass them along.
I can neither confirm nor deny the truth of the allegations in this article. (But you’re barrel sequence is not correct.)