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Rumors of Secret Underground Brewpub at GARF

Late Sunday afternoon news of an incredible discovery at the Georgia Renaissance Festival began circulating in the general vicinity of a bush located across the street from the popular springtime event. Passersby report that a man disguised as a “big brown burglar” was shouting the “combination” to an alleged secret entrance to an air-conditioned underground brewpub located directly beneath the ground floor of the new two-story Drunk Monk pub.

According to this “masked man wielding a table leg” the secret underground facility can be accessed by gently touching decorative barrel heads in a special sequence and clearly stating the phrase “Captain Drew Loves Boobs” (artist’s rendering of rumored sequence, below).

If this as-yet-unidentified individual lying beneath a bush, distributing codes is to be believed, the panel holding the beer barrels is designed to swing up to reveal a stone staircase leading down to the secret underground brewpub, which also features an arcade, a gift shop, 3 restaurants, and a retractible dance floor with an Olympic-size swimming pool underneath.

Officials at GARF have yet to respond to these allegations, mostly because no one has had the nerve to pass them along.


One Response to this post.

  1. Dave Dorrell's Gravatar

    Posted by Dave Dorrell on 08.05.17 at 12:53 am

    I can neither confirm nor deny the truth of the allegations in this article. (But you’re barrel sequence is not correct.)