PiratePalooza.com Rum. Cleavage. Pubcrawls. YARRRR!

After a hard night of buccaneering around Tybee Island, our old mate Tommy likes to turn up the Victrola and entertain his shipmates and ship’s wenches with a bit of burlesque. You may know Tommy from such reels as the Virginia and the Corner. His favorite color is rum and his favorite film is “Get Out of My Bloody Way, I Need to Have a Slash”. Filmed in glorious PiratePaloozavision.

Last weekend Captain Drew traveled down to Tybee Island, Georgia, to observe the League of the Black Flag in action at the 5th Annual Tybee Island Pirate Fest… not to brag but PiratePalooza enjoyed its 5th Annual festival well before those silly beach folk! ;P

Black Flagger Israel Hand discovered that the Tybee Beach Police do not allow sleeping in the sand…. why not learn along with him?

While interest in piracy has skyrocketed in the last five years, the traditional pirate challenge game “Salt Slug Foot” was nearly lost to history until marine archaeologists working at the Walter Elias Marine Conservatory in Beaufort, South Carolina, raised the remains of what is believed to be the dreaded pirate ship “Farquand’s Glory” and rediscovered the original rules for the game. Though the ship contained no treasure, and much of the iron hardware had rusted away, a series of carvings was found in what is believed to have been the crew quarters belowdecks.

Shown above is a marine archaeologist’s recreation of the original art, which depicted a shaker of salt, a slug, and a foot. (Note: this is an illustration of the original artwork, not a photo of the actual carving, which was deemed too Continue Reading

Sailing between the stars is lonely work. Between me cognitively-challenged crew and my uncommunicative poo, rare is the opportunity to have meaningful conversation with living, thinking, bilaterally symmetrical bipedal beings who aren’t trying to do you, or do you in. This is why often listen to wireless chat programmes beamed into space from different planets along the space lanes I terrorize. My favorites are Blagnartz the Invincible on KZ3493 Continue Reading

Are you bored with life? Do your friends have all the fun? Are you feeling “left out” of all o’ them awesome standoffs with the Navies of your own homeworld? Well Jim m’lad, shake off them blues and sign up for Captain Drew’s new seminar series “Hijacking Ships and Taking Hostages for Fun and Profit”, coming to your town soon!

Famed space pirate Captain Drew and his esteemed colleagues (giants in their own right) will share valuable tips and time-tested techniques of acquiring previously-owned ships and leveraging their former crews for financial gain. Why stay stuck in the same backwaters you’ve been plying for years when you could really step out there and make a name for yourself?

In this lecture series you will learn:

“Shopping 101 : Finding a Ship to Suit Your Hijacking Needs”
Ships are like haypenny wenches; they’re cheap, they come in different sizes, they’re in terrible disrepair, they leak more than a bit, and some smell worse than others. More to the point, not every ship you run into is going to be Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS – Captain Drew is holding a press conference at PiratePalooza’s corporate headquarters where he will apparently be revealing plans for a hostile takeover of the Georgia Renaissance Festival. Updates provided below in real time, just hit refresh to follow along…

7:25PM
They’re playing Coldplay over the loudspeaker system… large crowd of people… everyone seems to be Continue Reading

Devoted sci-fi fan/collector “SexyBeast2175” alerted us to this fantastic video he shot at Trader Vic’s in the basement of the downtown Atlanta Hilton. It features a solitary cardboard trooper getting groovy to Big Mike Geier of Tongo Hiti singing the lyrics of The Who’s “Pinball Wizard” to the tune of Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues”. Check out that hot blonde!

I know, I know, I should be pouring all of me energy into the preparation for this year’s PiratePalooza™ on Septembarrrrr the 20th, but I had some Peppoid Caffeine Steaks at dinner and simply cannot nod off. Instead, I’ve been pacing the cabin of me ship (spaceship, remember I be a space pirate) and I just can’t get this idea out of me mind and had to share it with all you scurvy net crawlers straightaway!! So, like, have you ever thought about having ANOTHER Pirate themed day, what be called: Smell Like a Pirate Day??? Huh?? What do you think? Yess!!?? No? YESSS!!!?? Maybe I needs to stand up and walk away from this blinky box of lights for awhile, by thunder!! (In the meantime, I suggest you visit Ol’ Chumbucket and Cap’n Slappy’s website for International Talk Like a Pirate Day… tell ’em Captain Drew sent you!!)

It be no small secret that I likes ambling down to the Trader Vic’s on Thursday nights just to hear the Tiki band Tongo Hiti play the sweet, sweet music of the Pacific isles for wandering tourists and lonely conventioneers. If you do make it down there tell Big Mike that Captain Drew sends his regards… but be warned: as the night grows long and the rum begins to dwindle the music begins to change over to something far more sinister…..

As a right amount of furious clamor from prior postings have determined: most of you Earth lubbers seem well abashed of the art of Captain Drew’s pirate planet, namely Poop Poetry. As such, I shall be hiding the bulk of my latest treasure beneath the cut. So, if you be not sure that you’ve an ear for the high art of the space pirates, take in just a sample of this latest masterpiece. If you love it, click on through for the rest. Me? I be flush with success.