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Coming Soon: The Atlanta Steampunk Exposition

The Atlanta Steampunk Festival is Coming!

I was recently rifling through my drawers trying to find my instant rum gun when I was surprised to find a gear-bedecked pin with “ASE1 2017” stamped into the metal. The pin was attached to a card which read “Atlanta Steampunk Exposition 1” and featured a link to the Continue Reading


Ritual’s Treasure Island Pirate Party

Do you be ready for PiratePalooza 13?? What better way to prepare for our annual invasion of Decatur than by attending RITUAL’s Treasure Island Pirate Party at The Heretic on Friday September 22nd?!!! This year Ritual will be the official pre-party for the Palooza and will be overflowin’ with rum and shanties, you can wear your fancy frilly panties!! Dance into the depths of the night with VJ Anthony and DJ System Fail as they spin dance tracks from the depths of Davey Jones’ Locker! They’ll have special guests, designs from WHMZ Coats – you can even learn your fate with a Tarot card reading!

The event begins at 10pm at The Heretic at 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road and will run late. Their cover fee is $10 and music will be provided courtesy of VJ Anthony and DJ System Fail. Check out ritualoni.com for more information!

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Nightmare’s Gate 2015


This past weekend I decided that I needed to relax in anticipation of the upcoming 11th Annual PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl & Pubsing, so I called around to my friends hoping one of them was foolish enough to answer their phone and reveal their location to me.  In retrospect I rather wish that I stayed on the ship and watched an Alf marathon because I’d have saved myself a rather extensive laundry bill and avoided a shocking case of full-body poison ivy caught from hiding naked in the woods overnight.

At least I can provide a public service to my friends and crew by telling you to STAY AWAY FROM DOUGLASVILLE!!!

Seriously, those people are not messing around out there.  If you are for some reason unable or unwilling to consider this general advice (freely given), you should consider my next nugget of more specific advice regarding Douglasville, namely:  do NOT go near the haunted hall of terror named Nightmare’s Gate!!!!!!! {www.nightmaresgate.com}

Allow me to explain why I say this… Continue Reading


Space Pirate Gun Contest


Listen up you scurvy lot, there be only 64 Days, 14 hours, and some odd minutes before the 10th Annual PiratePalooza™ begins… so as a warm-up to our upcoming 2nd annual scavenger hunt let’s give away some awesomely authentic plastic space pirate guns to the best THREE (3) PHOTOS that best captures the spirit of the One True, Beloved & Ancient PiratePalooza™. Just post your photo to our Facebook page or our Google+ page or tweet us a photo …. get the picture to us and we’ll add you to the contest. The contest ends at Midnight on Sunday, July 20th and the winners will be announced the following Friday!! Be sure to share this with your friends, these plastic space pirate guns won’t be around forever – don’t miss out!!!

Captain Drew Announces New Annual Scavenger Hunt


A little less than four hours ago Captain Drew held his latest press conference, this time at Lenox Square Mall in Buckhead, a tony in-town Atlanta neighborhood known for upscale businesses and “wenches what has had a lot of work done in their bosom area”. Unlike his previous press conferences, the Captain avoided making a public spectacle by accidentally locking himself in a disused maintenance corridor behind the Victoria’s Secret store. According to the store’s manager, Shasta Glamowitz, the previous sentence may in fact be entirely inaccurate. “That guy carved a peephole in the Continue Reading


Dragon*Con Sucked

Disappointed Conventioneers

(Note: please read the date this was posted, so that you don’t feel a ninny). I need to know why all of you lot be so charmed with Dragon*Con. I mean!! I went to it yesterday and it weren’t nothing special whatsoever. In fact, it be about the worst convention I ever seen!! Plus, it weren’t nearly as big as I’d heard tell…. if they had more than 400 people there I’ll eat me rPhone™!! Okay, here’s the story… Continue Reading


2008 Dragon*Con Pirate Party

Pirates at a skiffy convention?!?!

Planning already be under way for the 2008 Pirate Party at Dragon*Con... which be some sort of heathen jamboree what happens in downtown Atlantarrr every Septembarrr (scant weeks before me PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl). With the help o’ Cap’n Sparrow I crashed into this rowdy congregation of pirates last year and were supremely impressed with the effort what went into it, not to mention the dancin’, the singin’, the rum, the ample corsetry and a wide range of space aliens from back around me own homestar. No wonder that fire marshall feller were so hot to keep it in check, it were a hootenany to be sure! So, if you’re plannin’ to attend this year’s event you need to know that the scurvy seadogs behind the event have erected a web doodle for to keep all of you rogues and privateers apprised of their every move.

I hope to be there again this year, though I plan on drinking much less Old Spice by accident. Pblblblbtt!!!


The Naughty No No Show

Aerial Angels at Shakespeare Tavern

(video after the break) Last night around ebb tide I slipped down to the bard-stenched halls of the New American Shakespeare Tavern to observe “The Naughty No No Show“, a gymnastic burlesque performed by a quartet of fetching, flexible lassies what call themselves “The Aerial Angels“. Backed up by one of me most popular Palooza bands, the “The Lost Boys“, these faire-friendly beauties twirled and tumbled, whipped and stripped before a willing crowd of paying onlookers. More than a few of the men in the audience got so worked up that they shucked out of their shirts, with one swabby even running up onto the stage to jerk off Continue Reading


CD Release: Rimes of the Hip Hop Mariners

Rimes of the Hip Hop Mariners

All you pirates in the crowd raise your hooks in the air, today Captain Dan and his Scurvy Crew announced the release of their second album, “Rimes of the Hip Hop Mariners” and I have to tell you that your old pal Captain Drew is very, very excited!! If you don’t already own a copy of Captain Dan’s first album “Authentic Pirate Hip-Hop” you don’t even know what you’ve been missing. Have you ever found yourself sitting at a red light in your tricked out autocarriage, watching all those fine ho’s doing the Bankhead Bounce for the gentlemen in their tricked out Lincoln Navigators? Didn’t you wish that you had some sort of pirate-themed hip-hop music of your very own to attract a gaggle of gals with great big flappity-flapjack fannies to clap booty all over your face? I sure know that I’m constantly making that wish (but then I’m an arrogant space pirate who doesn’t recognize the demeaning social impropriety of my actions). Well you bootyclap-loving lads, wish no more. Click on over to the CD Baby website now to buy your very own copy of Captain Dan’s latest work and get to rubbin’ your faces all up in that junk…. you can thank me later. From a distance. After you’ve had a bath. Maybe not even then. You should probably get shots. And a salve. You know, just in case.


Tale of Two Parties!

This Friday night The Angel, the location of our last two PiratePalooza PubSings, will be throwing a Halloween party!! If you’re standing around with your hook up your butt, pull it out and head down to The Angel!! Tell ’em Cap’n Drew sent you!!

On Saturday night there’ll be a party at Trader Vic’s, in the basement of the downtown Atlanta Hilton. There will be a $5 cover charge, live music, the Dames Aflame GoGo and a costume contest! Details Here.

Extra points if you show up to either in cardboard.
By “points” we mean “a general sense of well being”.
Cheap bastards, ain’t we?