PiratePalooza.com Rum. Cleavage. Pubcrawls. YARRRR!

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, m’hearties! With less than 5 days until the 13th Annual PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl & Pubsing it might be a good idea start polishing up on your pirate history! However, if you’re like most sea devils these days you’re absolutely illiterate (which is why you have someone reading this article to you right now). Continue Reading

As I was recently polishing off a pint of ale I was reminded of a time many years ago when the minstrel group Wine Woman & Song would regale us with an old favorite, The Barley Mow, during pub sing at the Brewer’s Pub at the Georgia Renaissance Festival. With a bit of time on my hands I decided to find out more about this old tune. For instance: what’s a “barley mow”? What’s a nipperkin? What’s a drayer? What’s a Continue Reading

Attention crew: please cease your shallow and tiresome obsession with the British species or I shall be forced to visit your skull with a very smart cricket bat in the middle of the night whilst singing ‘Jerusalem’. In particular I suggest that you immediately cease your feeble pop-culture influenced variations of the “Keep Calm” poster as it diminishes the plight of that poorly dentition Continue Reading

Well, take a look around m’hearties, have you ever seen the old Palooza ‘site lookin’ so nice? Here be a brief re-capture of the events that led to what you be looking at now (try to follow along):

1. Captain Drew be right tired of his ragamuffin version of WordPress (which he shanghaied into working, against all the known laws of PHPing, WordPressing, and Bloggin’ as they be writ on the interknot) and was avowed to change the thing by the time the year Twenty Oh Eight fell wicked across his lap.
2. The Royal Court of Boffins at WordPressery released version “two pointe fyve” of their beastie and Captain Drew had lust in his loins for new things to touch
3. Everything else.*

So that be the full and complete “technical” explanation of what you be havin’ in front of you. If it don’t look right on your box of blinky lights it might indeed be my fault, but as I be a pirate (and a right bad one at that) you can take a long walk on a short…. ahh, a short haul of a long…. ummm…

Look mate, this rum’s not drinking itself. Buzz away.

Update: She be workin’ now!! As of this post the Flash-driven audio snippets (like the ones you’ll find in the post about the Booty Album) don’t be playing correctly from the Palooza web-type site, though you may in fact download the MP3 thingys and play them on your own music box to your heart’s content. I’ll instigate a solution as soon as I’ve finished doing something daring and dashing (as long as you consider postin’ wirelessly from the ship’s head “daring”…okay, must be dashing off now)….

* (Aye, I know this kind of skips through the mySquall backups, the FreeToPee downloads and uploads and all the ragged PHP cursing and CSS gnashing and Illustrator and Photoshoppe vanities… but do anybody really care about that stuff anyway?)

This is a warning for aspiring pirates intent on purchasing a bag full of plastic novelty coins. Be aware that the brand of plastic coins bearing the legend “AVAG CO BEPSIG” are enchanted. That’s right, enchanted….
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PiratePalooza (the event) first appeared to Captain Drew in a rum-soaked dream sequence featuring Bing Crosby, Gil Gerard, the oft-remembered (little seen) bamboo taxi from Gilligan’s island, and 35 bare-breasted Vegas showgirls. Drew chased the showgirls around the stage in Gilligan’s bamboo taxi until he was thrown out of the dream sequence by an enraged Bob Hope who was not credited with an appearance in the dream sequence due to a bad union deal. Always read the fine print.
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Media darlings during the 1980’s, the late 1990’s found Rock-n-Roll Captains Mal & Drew scrambling to deliver a new hit album to pay off massive debt garnered over their 10 year hiatus living off the proceeds from their hits ‘Pirate Rock’, ‘Pirate Rock 2’, ‘Lick My Hook’ and ‘Festoon’.
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Well by now you’ve heard, read or witnessed the power and might what be the PiratePalooza. Here I be, nursin’ a pail o’ water and a wet rag fer me forehead and rememberin’ the truly wonderous things we seen at the Palooza. We seen the lost boys leapin’ about like scalded ass apes in Eddie’s Attic til we be chased down to the Brick Store fer a bit o’ food and a nip o’ that fancy Belgian beer what everybody be ravin’ bouts. Belgium, man, BELGIUM!

It’s time for all o’ you fine and true pirates to begin spreadin’ the word that the Palooza is nigh well upon us. We’d a’thought that ye might a’been handin’ the black spot ’round in all those dark rum holes where you spend your wakin’ hours, but then you are all such a visual lot these days…. we realized it might take a bit more to make things happen. That’s why we’re a’ givin’ ya the Official Pirate Palooza 2005 Collectible Poster, and it’s all fer’ free since yer also a damned cheap bunch o’ mackeral lickers.

And fer all o’ you lot what wants to show the poster on yer own little web-type sites but don’t know how to do anything unless somebody holds yer hand and gives ye the magic words, here be them magic words now.

Just copy ’em down into your HT-type MEL and see if’n they don’t make a tiny little Pirate Paloozer poster show up on yer webble pages.

Garrrr… Seems that Cap’n Drew had too much PHP tonight….

Well we’ve got our new website and ain’t she a right nice sight? Tis only a matter o’ time fer us to slip all of our fine information up fer all to see. It’s these damnable DIVs what keeps us up at night, but never you mind me lads and lassies, it’ll all be square in time.