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Free Water! Georgia Renfaire Shines Despite Rain (Top 10 List)

I know a lot of lubbers hide in their shacks when the storm clouds push in, but this past weekend at the Georgia Renaissance Festival I observed how the show goes on whether it rains or shines and I’ll count down TEN reasons why you should toss on your galoshes and head down to New Castle.

 

  1. GREAT PARKING
    On rainy days there are fewer cars which means that you get to park a lot closer to the entrance!
  1. CHEAPER THAN A WATER PARK
    The last time I checked (which was 3 minutes ago) a discount day pass ticket to White Water was $39.99 and the water parks don’t sell turkey legges or swords.
  1. SHORTER LINES
    Whether you’re in line for boiled eggs on a stick or the Welsh Shin-Kicking Ride, you won’t have as long to wait
  1. CLEAN RENNIES
    A rare sight indeed if you were to listen to the slanderous Haymarket press that I’ve written in past about rennies. All the same, bring some Himalayan Pink Salt Bar Soap along and see what happens!
  1. WAY COOLER
    By the time May rolls around the temps really begin to climb, but a jolly good rain storm can really chill you to the bone. Bring a bikini shawl along, just in case.
  1. EVERYTHING IS A MUD SHOW!
    Those mud-diving morons at the mud show have a lot more competition on rainy days because everyone from the pickle seller to the horse tickler are flopping around in the stuff whether they want to or not (they do not (want to)).
  1. CHOLERA
    Those portable toilets begin to….. you know what? Just skip ahead to number 3.
  1. WET BODICES
    The wenches may be chaste but their bodices say “You really are a creeper for staring at my wet chest you masked weirdo”. I’d advice that you not point, hoot and holler, or take pictures. Trust me.
  1. FREE WATER!
    While ice is rumored to be nearly unattainable for anyone but paying customers at the Renaissance Festival, the place is overflowing with free water on rainy days – it’s everywhere and it’s cheap and it’s gladly given to patrons and even the cast! Crazy, eh??
  1. WILD ENERGY
    When the cast and the boothies and everyone in-between are hemmed in by rain for hours on end they get a bit punch drunk and things begin to get really silly, so you’re bound to have some fun interactive adventures that might not happen on a non-rainy day.

So in closing, don’t be a-feared of getting a bit wet at the Renaissance Festival because it may be the best time you ever had!

Take it from me, a pirate!

 

 

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Where Can I Park for PiratePalooza?

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People often say to me, they say, “Captain, could you please climb down off of my table while I am eating dinner,” which is a perfectly reasonable request. Other times they simply ask me where they should park when attending my world famous PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl & Pubsing. On those occasions I simply tell them “Have a look at this map!!”, which is what I’m telling YOU at this very moment. This map has been purloined from the City of Decatarrrr who want you to know that they in no way endorse the piratical arts, at least that is my surmise, since they rather pointedly asked me to clamber down from atop their table only moments ago. Touchy people, these Decatarrrroines. Anyhow, for your convenience, here is a higher resolution version PDF (an approximately 824k download).

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The 2016 PiratePalooza Press Packet

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At Captain Drew’s behest the crew have prepared a special press packet for the 2016 edition of the award winning PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl & Pubsing, the most popular pirate-themed pubcrawl in the world! Available as a small PDF download from this link: 2016-pubcrawl-press-packet – Share and enjoy!

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2016 Renaissance Festival Forms

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After an exciting incident with scones and a wooden chair at the Royal Peacock Tea Room, and in an effort to decrease rail and bannister-related injuries, I recently assumed the position of INSPECTOR with the Bureau of Renaissance Festival Inspections and paid a visit upon the Georgia Renaissance Festival and am pleased to announce that Continue Reading

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Offended Artists Justify Themselves with Petulant Redesign

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Dear humans of the United States, just when I believe that I have finally understood what drives your species you go and have a swutting juju-flop of a frandelkrap about some bloody t-shirts that simply encouraged your children to pick themselves up from your nasty, action-figure strewn carpeted floors, launch themselves past your Continue Reading

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Captain Drew’s New Year’s Wish

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I really like you people (even the ones who aren’t pirates) and I hope that as we write our final lines into the chapter of the year that you are okay. Perhaps not deliriously happy and joyous, but at the very least okay at the foundation of your being.

I hope that you are healthy, though I know for a fact that more than a few of you are dealing with medical issues or taking care of loved ones who are not well. Very few of us stop to consider how fortunate we are in times of good health, and I am certainly not always the most thoughtful to ask how you are when I run into you, half-drunk clutching a turkey legge in one gauntlet and a purloined Continue Reading

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Social Media Form SM-4 (Rev. 09-2015)

 

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That time is upon us again this year and I hope that you haven’t let it slip up on you like is has me!! Don’t forget to file form SM-4 before mid-October, especially if you value the autonomy of your own private social media control.  Note that page 19 is the most important page and for the first time this year you may simply Continue Reading

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Remembering PiratePalooza™ 2015

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This year we celebrated the 11th anniversary of PiratePalooza™ on the unfamiliar shores of downtown Atlantarrrr. This is my account of that adventure. – Captain Drew

Around 1:30 our pirates began slipping into Meehan’s Irish Pub in twos and threes, making their way down the shadowy back hallway toward the Shanghai Room where, through the use of diverse hand signals, grunts, whistles and clicks, they began to assemble into a unified group and take over the Continue Reading

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10 Ways to Have a Fun and Safe PiratePalooza!

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PiratePalooza™ may seem like a novelty to you city folks in Atlantarrrr, but this grand convening of pirate crews ain’t no joke and it’s a good thing that you tuned in to get these tips from me on how best to survive… Continue Reading

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Pogue Mahone at PiratePalooza!

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This year marks the 10th anniversary of Tommy and Foe’s friendship, but people who know them would swear the two have been friends for several lifetimes. They met briefly at DragonCon through their mutual friend, Wade Finch, but got to know each other much better by spending a few hours discussing costumes at Foe’s first PiratePalooza (Year 2, in 2006). Though they wouldn’t start singing together for another year or so, their friendship really began that night outside Continue Reading

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