Section of Royal High Road Buckles in New Castle, Swallows Minstrels Whole

A gaggle of unsuspecting minstrels were swallowed up by the earth this past Sunday when a section of the Royal High Road in New Castle buckled due to a previously undetected tunnel, reported the Royal Guard. Captain Drew, spokespirate for the Royal Alliance of Space Pirates (R.A.S.P.), responded via telex that his organization was “totally… Continue reading Section of Royal High Road Buckles in New Castle, Swallows Minstrels Whole

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The Pyrates Royale To End Their Voyage?

UPDATE! Good news, the Pyrates Royale cannot be stopped. Ian O’Donnell reports that the Pyrates have been reincarnated and that you can get the latest information about them on their Pyrates Royale Reunion page on Facebook (click!) Shocking news reached the ship tonight that the Pyrates Royale have announced they would be ending the voyage they first… Continue reading The Pyrates Royale To End Their Voyage?

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The Final Splashdown

The colorful broadside “USA Today” be reporting that your beloved hero Neil Armstrong will be buried at sea, which seems to have caught many of you Terrans by surprise as it seems you had believed the man would be enshrined in a concrete cathedral in the middle of your national capital. But look at it… Continue reading The Final Splashdown

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Captain Drew Endorses Gooble Voice

Update [Dec 2011] – Captain Drew claims no memory of the following and ordered his Gooble Voice number be removed from the website BREAKING NEWS – Today Captain Drew announced in a press conference at PiratePalooza’s corporate headquarters that he will be teaming with the internet giant Google in a effort to increase awareness of… Continue reading Captain Drew Endorses Gooble Voice

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NASA Recruits Million Man Army of Spies to Invade Moon

Breaking news from the world of space piracy!! Fast on the heels of their recent invasion of Mars, your planet’s space warfare organization, NASA, has assembled an army of Earth-born invaders to overrun your neighboring moon with spies! Rumored to already have ONE MILLION recruits, the so-called “space agency” has issued the following statement.

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Unprovoked Invasion of Mars Continues

Hostilities between Earth and Mars continues unabated with this evening’s news of yet another alien lander being deposited on the surface of the peaceful world of Mars. The latest invasion is reportedly being led by a reconnaissance robot known as the “Phoenix Mars Lander”, rumored to have advanced “measuring” and “scooping” technologies dedicated to the… Continue reading Unprovoked Invasion of Mars Continues

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Swedish Navy Stalks The Pirate Bay

Vanity Fair Magazine, whose cleavage-enriched advertisements comfort Captain Drew when he’s especially lonely, is featuring a six page article by Steven Daly about the two young cabin boys what control a little place on the internet called Pirate Bay; a centralized location for the trafficking of movies and television programs. Though I don’t be too… Continue reading Swedish Navy Stalks The Pirate Bay

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