A list of all posts from the category: GARF

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Category Listing for: GARF

Maui Shocks Festival Crowd

There’s an unofficial tradition among the cast at the Georgia Renaissance Festival that Memorial Day is observed as a “prank day” for tweaking costumes, characters, storylines, and songs ever so slightly as to entertain each other in order to survive the final leg of a brutal 3-day run. These minor alterations usually go unnoticed by patrons of the festival, but they provide the cast with tremendous entertainment, a welcome distraction from the scorching heat, dusty streets, and occasional deluge and lightning storm.  In my opinion the undisputed “winner” of GARF’s 2017 Prank Day was Estaban Diego de Castille who showed up as Continue Reading

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A Letter from Mark

This past Saturday was the first of a 2-day pirate invasion of the Georgia Renaissance Festival, and I must admit that I had a great time wandering around the old place again. We started the day at the front door where some lady in purple yelled at everybody a long time before letting us all in.  I think she did that as a distraction so we didn’t notice all them boobs everywhere, but man I noticed.  After the lady finished yelling at us they opened the door so we could get in and once Continue Reading

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Captain Drew Announces Wholly Unauthorized Pub Crawl

This weekend pirates will descend upon the Georgia Renaissance Festival for their annual late spring gathering. The traditional meeting point for this assembly is the Pub on the Hilla picturesque pub serving beer, wine, cider, and ale.  This spot is one of several pubs featuring stage acts like Landloch’d and the Beastly Boys. It also features Friar Finegan, a monk who is developing a habit for leading festival-goers on pub crawls.

In an effort to assert his now-legendary pubcrawl-leading credentials, Captain Drew has made “arrangements” to lead a “pub crawl” of his own this Saturday at GARF’s Pirate Invasion. The Captain’s pub crawl will begin at the Pub on the Hill around 12:30pm, it will arrive at the Drunk Monk Pub by 1:15pm (wine and cheese MAY be available upstairs, if renovations are complete), arrive at the Brewer’s Pub by 2pm (musical act TBD by fate), then return back to the Pub on the Hill in time to join in on Continue Reading

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Landloch’d Releases The Devil’s Own Invention

Yours truly, Captain Drew, was lucky enough to secure an invitation to an exclusive industry launch party for the fifth album by Landloch’d, a duo with a penchant for whiskey and sheep. This latest album is clearly their classiest one yet because it features the band’s mascot Delilah wielding a trident with a heart impaled on its Continue Reading

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Rumors of Secret Underground Brewpub at GARF

Late Sunday afternoon news of an incredible discovery at the Georgia Renaissance Festival began circulating in the general vicinity of a bush located across the street from the popular springtime event. Passersby report that a man disguised as a “big brown burglar” was shouting the “combination” to an alleged secret entrance to an air-conditioned underground brewpub located directly beneath the ground floor of the new Continue Reading

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GARF Offers Best Ticket Deal of the Season

Yesterday I was directing the workmen who were replacing the figurehead for the front of my ship when I noticed a tiny red flag had popped out of my rPhone so I carefully dialed the number to the orbital telemail waystation to check my inbox and discovered that the ticket drovers down at the Georgia Renaissance Festival had announced the best deal yet on tickets to the Georgia Renaissance Festival. After purchasing a bootful of tickets for myself I decided to Continue Reading

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May is International Johnny Jump Up Month

Three years ago our mate Thomas O. McJunkins (the Mad Black Bard) took St. Peter a quart of Johnny Jump Up and in honor of his impassioned spirit we encourage you to remember him each May be lifting high your mug and drinking some of that legendary stuff.

Here is T.O. singing Johnny Jump Up at the Georgia Renaissance Festival in 2011.

We shall see you again, T.O.!

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Georgia Renfest Adds Whiz Rocket Ride (Men Only)

I stumbled across these Sontoran Whiz Rockets at the Georgia Renaissance Festival this past weekend and while I did not see them in operation I did note that there were no warning signs or instructions posted. One little fellow tumbled out of a normal porta-potty and announced that “My junk ain’t tall enough to fit!”. I have yet to try these out and am interested to know if anyone else has experience piloting one of these contraptions. Question: do you need to have 4 passengers before it will go?

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Free Water! Georgia Renfaire Shines Despite Rain (Top 10 List)

I know a lot of lubbers hide in their shacks when the storm clouds push in, but this past weekend at the Georgia Renaissance Festival I observed how the show goes on whether it rains or shines and I’ll count down TEN reasons why you should toss on your galoshes and head down to New Castle.

 

  1. GREAT PARKING
    On rainy days there are fewer cars which means that you get to park a lot closer to the entrance!
  1. CHEAPER THAN A WATER PARK
    The last time I checked (which was 3 minutes ago) a discount day pass ticket to White Water was $39.99 and the water parks don’t sell turkey legges or swords.
  1. SHORTER LINES
    Whether you’re in line for boiled eggs on a stick or the Welsh Shin-Kicking Ride, you won’t have as long to wait
  1. CLEAN RENNIES
    A rare sight indeed if you were to listen to the slanderous Haymarket press that I’ve written in past about rennies. All the same, bring some Himalayan Pink Salt Bar Soap along and see what happens!
  1. WAY COOLER
    By the time May rolls around the temps really begin to climb, but a jolly good rain storm can really chill you to the bone. Bring a bikini shawl along, just in case.

Continue Reading

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Section of Royal High Road Buckles in New Castle, Swallows Minstrels Whole

A gaggle of unsuspecting minstrels were swallowed up by the earth this past Sunday when a section of the Royal High Road in New Castle buckled due to a previously undetected tunnel, reported the Royal Guard.

Captain Drew, spokespirate for the Royal Alliance of Space Pirates (R.A.S.P.), responded via telex that his organization was “totally not involved in this unfortunate tunnel collapse” and that “the tunnel had not even been finished yet” and that “peepholes had Continue Reading

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